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Episode 159: Resilience

Despite their setbacks and failures some people seem to have the ability to brush things off and bounce back almost stronger than before, they seem to have a grit and determination not to let bad experiences affect them. Is this something than can be learned?
I see resilience as a mixture of a few traits.

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Episode 158: Guilt And Shame

If we’ve hurt someone then I think it’s probably healthy to feel bad about it, to wish that we’d behaved differently and to want to make amends.
But what isn’t healthy is continually beating yourself up over it or to think of yourself as a bad person because of what happened. Feeling bad because you hurt someone is guilt. But feeling as if you’re a bad person is shame, and they’re a bit different.

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Episode 157: Self-Worth and Anxiety

Did you know that if you're physically tired then you will estimate hills as steeper than they actually are? And that a place in the distance is further away? But did you also know that it's not just our physical resources that influence our perception of the world?

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Episode 156: What We Fight, We Invite

There’s an annoying quirk to our psychology that means we can easily be drawn towards the exact thing that we’re trying to avoid, as the old saying goes 'be careful what you look for, because you just might find it.' Because the alternative means that you might have made yourself part of the problem, rather than the solution.

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Episode 155: Options & Decisions

Making decisions can be hard, and not just with the big things in life.
Sometimes even things that should be insignificant in the grand scheme of things can paralyse us. So how do we get around it?
Todays episode is about just that. Getting a better perspective on these things and even the bigger ones too.

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Episode 154: What Makes A Good Relationship?

Although I’m not a relationship coach or a couple therapist a lot of clients will come to one to one therapy and discuss their relationships, with many of them saying things such as “I don’t know what a real relationship is supposed to feel like!”
I think that in a society that looks at so many things in life as disposable it can be very hard to think of something in your life as permanent, and may even be a bit scary for a lot of people. Which is why so many clients say to me that they feel trapped when they’re in a relationship yet they feel lonely and insignificant when they’re not.

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Episode 153: The Gratitude Attitude

I was asked in an interview recently that if I had to choose one thing, what would I say is the most effective way of boosting happiness?
In order to answer it I needed to think about all the concepts and exercises that I wrote about in my book to see if there was a common ingredient or theme. What I found is that pretty much everything I wrote about needed a foundation of appreciation, of gratitude in order for them to be of any help.
So what do I mean exactly by gratitude? Well, let’s start at the beginning here because the issue really is that…

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Episode 152: 15 Minutes To Happiness

Have a think about the following question for a moment.

“Please imagine a ladder with steps numbered from zero at the bottom to 10 at the top. Suppose we say that the top of the ladder represents the best possible life for you, and the bottom of the ladder represents the worst possible life for you. On which step of the ladder would you say you personally feel you stand at this time, assuming that the higher the step the better you feel about your life, and the lower the step the worse you feel about it? Which step comes closest to the way you feel?”

This question is asked once per year by Gallup, the famous poll company. They…

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When someone says Be a man, what do you think of?
Act tough?
Don't cry?
Or do you think manning up means to take responsibility for your emotions or accept mistakes and move on?…

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It might sound daft to some people but gloomy weather does have an impact on our mental health. If its grey on the outside we can easily slip into a grey on the inside feeling, which leads to behaviour that might makes things worse, hiding away from everyone and refusing to leave the so called comforts of home…

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