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Motivate Yourself 123: Patience

My previous episode Building On Your Foundations prompted a few messages from listeners saying that the only thing stopping them from being able to do that is impatience.

A lack of patience has probably always been an issue in society but it does seem to be getting worse.
Let’s look at what’s going on.

So if we can build on our foundations, our existing skills to move forward in life, it also follows that any habit and unconscious expectation will also further influence other areas.

If, as a child at school, you have a core belief that if you work hard enough at your Maths homework you’ll get better at Maths then that becomes our expectation with every other school subject, not just Maths.

Great, but it can also work against us!

If you have a core belief, an unconscious expectation that any time you want food it just magically appears by itself then we will create habits and expectations that lead us to only eat things that are instantly available, and that’s not always a good thing!

Having news and information always right there on your phone any time you want it doesn’t help with learning to be more patient.
Because of Facebook, Twitter and the like you can instantly find out what has happened 5 seconds ago on the other side of the world!

When I was young I could go to the Cinema to see a film and then have to wait a minimum of a year for it to come out on video tape because it’s such a lengthy process duplicating tapes.

Now we’ve got instant downloads on Netflix, iTunes and Amazon. The second that the film is ready to be released. There it is!

If we missed a TV programme we had to wait for a repeat, not any more. It’s there on the catch up service.

It’s brilliant isn’t it?

But now I’m getting so used to it that it has become normal. Patience isn’t being practised anywhere near as much.

If instant gratification is our foundation, then by building on that we’re doomed every time we have to wait in line at a post office!
We need to recognise that this is happening in society because it’s going to hold us back.

So, look at your impatience for what it really is, anger or frustration.
As with so many things in life it’s simply the fight or flight response telling us that our unconscious mind wants us to do one thing but our conscious decisions say otherwise.

That conflict will cause a change in the body as oxygen and adrenaline get pushed around making us tense up.
Just take a deep breath to counteract it and think and act appropriately.

Anxiety, Anger, Frustration, Impatience, however you want to call it, can become addictive, you get so used to it being there that it just happens by itself, that’s what habits are!

Remember that the situation you’re in is probably not unendurable, it might be uncomfortable, but waiting in a post office queue while the cashier has to go off and check something is not intolerable, you CAN tolerate it, it’s just that if there was a choice you wouldn’t have to, but you do, so deal with it!

Get a better perspective, listen to what you’re saying in your head maybe, because you could be winding yourself up and making things worse.
Think to yourself “What do I want to see happen?”
And be sensible, you can’t make the cashier in the post office come back any quicker, you can’t force your teenage daughter to do her homework.
Whatever it is that’s frustrating you, see how much of it you can genuinely influence.
Because when you ask “What do I want to see happen?” the answer that comes back is usually that you deal with it fine and everything ends up OK.

Also, be aware of other peoples impatience, not everyone listens to Personal Development Podcasts and is interested in Self Help.
Not everyone is willing to look at their thoughts, behaviours, emotions and so on and learn how to be happier.

You will probably have to deal with one of them, and you need to realise that their impatience is because of them, not because of you!

Episode List

Episode 138: Keeping Up With The Joneses
Episode 137: The Likeable You
Episode 136: Why It's OK To Be A Loser
Episode 135: The Psychology Of Extremism
Episode 134: Are You A Lobster?
Episode 133: Critical Thinking
Episode 132: There Is Nothing Either Good Or Bad
Episode 131: The For And Against Of Imagination
Episode 130: Loneliness & Social Networks
Episode 129: Letting Go Of The Past
Episode 128: What Is Love?
Episode 127: Procrastination
Ep. 126: Who Were You Before The World Changed You?
Episode 125: Stop Saying "Sorry"
Episode 124: Emotional Contagion
Episode 123: Patience
Episode 122: Building On Your Foundations
Episode 121: Dealing With The Critics
Episode 120: Being Assertive. Just Say No!
Episode 119: Inactivity
Episode 118: Social Functioning & Evolution
Episode 117: Unleash Your Inner Superhero
Episode 116: Goals, Values and Priorities
Episode 115: 10 Tips To A Happier Life
Episode 114: Lies And Confabulation
Episode 113: Confirmation Bias
Episode 112: Are You An Imposter?
Episode 111: What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger
Episode 110: Are New Years Resolutions a good idea?
Episode 109: The African Violet Queen Of Milwaukee
Episode 108: Reframing
Episode 107: Spiders And Behaviourism
Episode 106: Practise Makes Perfect
Episode 105: Fear Of Flying
Episode 100 - 104: Happiness
Episode 99: Body Image And The Media
Episode 98: Evolution and Adaptation
Episode 97: Reflections And Regrets.
Episode 96: Dealing With Fear
Episode 95: Confidence
Episode 94: Enthusiasm
Episode 93: Tips To Relieve Christmas Stress
Episode 92: Dealing With Change
Episode 87 - 91: Self Esteem
Episode 86: Correlation Does Not Imply Causation
Episode 85: The Importance Of Being Lazy
Episode 84: Elephant Chains
Episode 83: Eating Bananas And Setting Goals
Episode 82: Ignoring The Media And Listening To Music
Episode 81: Awakening The Instincts
Episode 80: The Fine Line Between Love And Hate
Episode 79: The Best Medicine
Episode 78: A New Start
Episode 77: Time Distortion
Episode 76: Making Decisions
Episode 75: What's In A Name?
Episode 74: Pushing Ourselves Further
Episode 73: Conformity
Episode 72: Purpose
Episode 71: Perspective
Episode 70: Expectation
Episode 69: The Mind / Body Link
Episode 68: Overcoming Shyness
Episode 67: Mood Boosting
Episode 66: Sabotaging your goals
Episode 65: Self Talk
Episode 64: Money Makes The World Go Round
Episode 63: First Impressions Count
Episode 62: False Belief
Episode 61: Absolutes
Episode 60: The Psychology of feeling calm
Episode 59: Belief
Episode 58: Anchoring Emotions
Episode 57: Negativity and Perspective
Episode 56: Health And Happiness
Episode 55: Imagination vs Reality
Episode 54: Change